True to the Moment?

Foreword: I have nothing against people who like to take selfies or enjoy photography. Also, in the following post, by photos, I mean pictures with people in them.

I've never been one for photographs, neither the self taken variety nor those taken by others.

I mean, if I travel somewhere new, like on vacation or some other interesting place. I'll take a few pictures, here and there. But not multiple pictures in different poses in multiple spots within the still same locale before repeating the same process elsewhere for the entirety of the trip.

The reasons for that, I think are because I don't really gain much from looking over old photos.

Why do people like taking photographs? Its even more prevalent in this digital day and age where almost every phone has a camera in it, essentially meaning we have a camera with us almost 24/7 that can snap an almost infinite number of shots. People back in the day had to be more economical with their shots because film was expensive to buy and develop. But they still probably took a great many pictures as evidenced by big physical photo albums.

Our lives are to put it simply, interesting; with its many ups and downs. Some moments are very significant to us like a graduation or a vacation or other special occasions with a person or many people, and we seek to collect those memories, those moments that made us feel something. With the dawn of phone cameras, now even meeting a friend for lunch is a photo worthy moment! And not just 1 photo, but 10.

So, cameras offer us a chance to capture a moment, freeze it in time, that we may keep and view later. And the reason for wanting to freeze a moment in time is because we felt something significant at that time. And the idea is that when we later look over these photos, we can relive those same memories and emotions. The idea that by taking a photograph we can stretch these special moments forever and experience them longer.

This is not a fully realised idea, if not an outright lie.

Very rarely, if ever at all, do you look at a photo and it can evoke the same exact emotions you were experiencing in that moment. Even photos from a long time ago that genuinely surprise you, still won't have you feel the same way as you did at that time. What more if you look over 10 photos of something from just 3 days ago?

Cameras are getting better with more advanced features that help us get sharper images, better lighting, etc. so as to be able to take photographs that are "truer to the moment". These 2D reproductions of the original moment that look similar to the real thing but aren't. The idea that we keep trying to make something fake as true as possible to the real thing.

And yet, the fact remains that no matter how in detail these things can and will get, we still will never be able to relive those moments exactly as they were. Photos can capture the image, the being, the physical, the form, the shapes but they can never capture our feelings of those moments with the people we care about.

Maybe a reason we feel the need to capture these moments is because deep down, every human knows these moments are fleeting. Special memories with special people that cannot possibly go on forever. Its just a fact of life that we will not always have these people we are sharing these moments with. And sometimes when something is gone, its gone for good.

So photographs are an attempted (though perhaps flawed) method of preserving the past because it is just human to want to somehow cherish and keep special moments. However, as above, nothing can really give those experiences back again. So what does that leave? The present and the future. Unless you're psychic, no one knows what is going to happen next, so we can't be secure in being with those we value in the future.

That then just leaves the present. Those experiences we cherish are only going to last a short amount of time and there's nothing we can do to slow them down. All we can do is appreciate the time we have, with those we love as it is happening.

Its just easier and less painful to not think and be complacent about the fact that one day we're going to lose the ones we care about.

But there are these moments, they're brief and they're rare but that remind us of how appreciative we are to have had what we have and to enjoy them while they last. And sometimes, these moments don't require a camera.

OR

Maybe I just don't like being in photographs because I'm ugly and not photogenic? You will never know.

Filler post

I haven't blogged in months so here's a filler post. Human memory is a fickle thing. Somethings that happened years ago we remember like it was yesterday and some things from hours ago feel like they were from last week. I don't remember where my glasses are when they are in fact already on this accident of a face. (Terrible humour is how I roll)

Human-to-human memories are even more odd. When we do something bad to someone, we remember forever (I'm assuming you're not a psychopath) and when we do something nice for someone we can forget. The target of our nice act will probably remember what you did however. And if someone hurt (or just slighted) you, they may forget but you won't.

Examples: I met a friend I hadn't seen in a year (or two?) last week. She said I gave her a note once long ago with some cake I gave her and she still has that note. I don't remember doing any such thing, haha. I met another (also haven't seen in a long while) recently to give her a present. Partly because she once said or rather (jokingly) complained that (paraphrase), "You always give her* stuff! She's your favourite!". *A mutual friend. She didn't remember saying that but I sure did. I was texting a different friend about two weeks ago and jokingly told her to not do anything weird on Valentine's day. Then she turned it around and told me to not do anything weird because she recalled that I had once talked about intercourse in debate practice and someone remarked that "its like you know what you're talking about" or something like that. Again, I don't remember this exchange ever taking place.

It seems like I just have bad memory.

Point is that people sometimes forget how they made others feel but those 'others' don't forget how that person made them feel and you never know what kind of memory imprint you can leave on people in various situations. This goes both ways so lets all make sure to leave positive impressions of ourselves in others. (A thing I admittedly fail at 60% of the time). Another friend keeps reminding me of my lack of social grace. Man, I hate that guy. Muahaha!

Observations #1

No profound topic this time. I didn't stumble upon some deep concept or ideas and roll with it to type out a thought-provoking article. The human mind doesn't work like that, I think. Strokes of genius just occur at random, but not this day, for me anyway. Perhaps for actual geniuses, their epiphanies occur with much more frequency, maybe they can even summon it at will.

So, you know how random thoughts pop into our mind every now and then? Some are just mundane and others are quite interesting or funny for example. I had a text conversation (yes, conversation via text. Hopefully I’ll see her soon in person) with a friend. So we were talking and in the end at the end as we were saying our goodbyes, she says something along the lines of “Later, shorty” or maybe it was “take care, shorty” or something similar.

Shorty was/is her nickname for me. A nickname she hasn't used in a long time. Anyway, this particular conversation took place some time ago. But the whole “shorty” thing popped into my mind today. I am actually short unfortunately. I'm kind of dwarfed by many people my age and I'm probably at or near the age where I stop getting any taller. I used to be taller than most my classmates but that is no longer the case. I didn't choose the tip toe life, the tippy toe life chose me.

We humans are complex beings capable of feeling a wide range of (sometimes conflicting) emotions, often simultaneously. In this instance, when the word “shorty” registered in my brain, I felt kind of nostalgic and some weird fuzzy feeling because well, its a nickname. Also felt a bit of embarrassment because I'm actually short. Some curiosity because I haven’t seen her in a while and maybe she’s already grown taller than me.

On an unrelated note, its crazy how lightning can be so calming, captivating and scary all at the same time. I was in a position that allowed for an unrestricted view if the night sky. It was raining heavily and lightning occurred with great frequency. So magnificent, a white blue streak of pure energy. A long line, like a spear from the heavens. My heart skipped a beat each time a lightning bolt appeared, managing to light up the infinite sky. I was also afraid I would get roasted. Amazing.