Naïve?

So here I am blowing off the dust and cobwebs off my blog.

Story time. And its the best kind of story because you get to be judgmental at the end. Was I naive?

Gather round, kids.

So one fine day some time ago, I was at an LRT station, leaving it to be precise when I was approached by a young gentleman. He introduced himself and proceeded to tell me his story. He had just been released from prison, penjara Kajang, and needed money to go back to his hometown in Kedah where his parents were.

You're probably thinking, "Like whoa now, come on man. That is the most fake story to have ever faked". Well perhaps you're right. But I'm a sucker for when Harry Hardluck and Sally Sobstory comes along. And I'm just generally sympathetic when people ask for help.

Of course, I didn't just hand him money. I asked questions first like any good detective would. Wait, when was I ever a detective? So it turns out he was in KL for work and he got into a fight and was arrested as a result. Can you get arrested for fighting? Perhaps the charged crime is assault or disorderly conduct or some such.

The Art of Rejection

How to take it and how to dish it out.

So, you finally mustered the courage to ask that special someone to go out with you or maybe you've asked your boss for a pay raise. You can't wait for them to give you an answer in the affirmative and put you over the moon. Its a 50/50 chance so those are pretty good odds right?

Ask and you shall receive. But what if you receive a "no"? It can be absolutely crushing when you thought you had a good chance and they say "no". What if someone not only denied your request but then said "Not in this lifetime. Not even in a parallel universe!" to your preposition? Bonus points to them for rejecting you and referencing String Theory while they were at it. What a burn.

If you still have any semblance of self esteem after that point then read on as we shall explore how to combat the feeling of defeat after rejection and to take it in stride.

1. Pre-planning
Just like any other activity, asking a person out or making plans or asking for a job transfer, it all requires planning. Think about the situation as a whole, do you feel like you have a good chance? If so, then great. Like really, good for you. If not, then mentally prepare yourself and accept the possibility of a "no". If you've been rejected your whole life, then why do you think anything is going to be different this time? Accept your failures as a human being and move on.

2. The question
So when you ask your question, do it in the most casual way possible. This is so that you don't come off as desperately hanging on to their decision and that it seems like you aren't bothered even if they say "no". When in person, use your most nonchalant voice so it seems like you don't care either way or playful voice so you can play it off as a joke if they reject you. "Haha! Just kidding" has been the way out of awkward questions for centuries. Use this time proven method to your advantage when facing rejection.

3. The response
Once they've said "no", you obviously have to do something and react. Otherwise, it will look like their rejection has torn your world asunder. So lets say someone said "no" straight to your face. If near a window, slowly back up to it and then proceed to throw yourself out of it because AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT (REJECTION). Yes, this post has memes.

The response is the most important step as this the only step your rejector will see following your request and the only way you can pretend like you didn't die a little on the inside when they said "no". If you have a penchant for hyperbole, this is the time to use it. Lets say you're attending a job interview and the employer decides to not hire you. Instead of the usual "Thank you for your time" nonsense, get creative. Say "OK. I'm glad you didn't hire me, this place is a snooze fest!" and then proceed to skateboard out of that loser emporium like a champ. Or a chump. Maybe a chimp. That'll surprise them.

4. The aftermath
Go home. Lie on your bed or the floor, if for some reason you don't own a bed. Think about all the life decisions you have made, all of them culminating in that moment where you asked and got "no" for an answer. Cry. At least no one will see these manly tears. This is a safe place.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this post is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously as guide for handling rejection. Depending on what you were hoping for and how much was riding on a particular request, rejection can go from stinging a tiny bit to getting a kick to... deez nuts. Look, more memes! So whenever asking something that can be a "yes" or "no", pray for the best but temper your expectations as well.

But you guys really should have seen this sick wheelie I did on a motorbike when I asked this girl out. It was glorious. I almost forgot she said "no". Almost.

Birthdays, anyone?

      

What are birthdays? I’d assume its the day you were born. But what’s the significance of it? I have no concrete ideas although I do have several theories.

With age comes responsibility, getting older means getting wiser. Hopefully wise enough to know but still young enough to do it. Getting old is a right of passage of sorts. A transition from being you depending on others to others depending on you now.

Another thing might be to remind people about how much time has past and how much time is left. An entire year spent with little or no successes? Bummer. Better kick it into high gear, time’s running out.

Conversely birthdays might be a sign to slow down. In this day and age sometimes we live too fast, too furious. Wouldn't want life to pass us by like a blurry line of a car racing past. Later in life, we usually learn to enjoy the little things in between more rather than Big things (cars, vacations, hotels).

Lastly, cake. Birthdays is nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.

If its your birthday today as you read this, then I wish you happy birthday. May life keep giving you lemons for you to make lemonade. (Or any other fruit you want, its just a metaphor)

You can't trust the system, man.

Now now, this post title might sound like I’m protesting a government but I’m not. The system I’m referring to is the relationship system and what I mean by that is in today’s instant gratification or shallow society some men have adopted systems to get women.

Nothing makes me more embarrassed about my gender than the fact that there are books, DVDs, seminars and courses about this. However, usually these resources have the specific aim of getting a woman in bed and nothing more. Relationships are human emotions not a scientific formulae.

The 1st terrible thing about this is that the formula is based on dishonesty since the goal is to get the girl and what better way to do that than psychological manipulation. The man usually has to present himself as something he’s not and you can’t keep up a lie indefinitely.

The 2nd is something that should be obvious but sadly it isn’t. Get ready for it, the woman is an individual! “Of course she is, you moron" some of you might be saying. Thing is, if you’re planning or are using a system you clearly don’t understand the concept of an individual.

You see, in a system there has to be constant variables for it to be efficient. By this, you have to assume all women respond in a highly predictable manner to how you’re acting. As an individual, she is going to respond in a way that is unique to her being.

The problem with this systematic approach to women is that men who do this treat the whole relationship process like a game where the woman is the final end game boss where he has to remember certain patterns and combos to make her submit defeat. What those guys don’t realise is that in reality the girl is a potential co-op player whom you need to defeat the real boss (whatever that may be).

Therefore in any relationship whether romantic, platonic or work-related; honesty is the best policy.

Disclaimer: I’m not a social scientist nor a feminist. This post goes both ways, male and female. It just seems more prevalent with men.

Sloth

So I'm going to be on holiday for the foreseeable future which is a few months. Even though I'm not Christian, I can understand why Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins (not the animal sloth like Sid from Ice Age, no no). Sloth, I suppose is olden day English for laziness since sloths seem extremely slow. I actually have a lot of things planned... in my head. I have no idea when I'm going to get around to actually doing them.

I want to cook, read, play piano but so far all I've done is... huh, I haven't done anything of note unless changing my cats' litter box counts. I need to get a part-time job but so lazy and procrastinating. Laziness is probably one of the biggest enemies of the human race because when you're doing nothing important, you're wasting time, time we don't get back.

There's a joke on the internet, it says "Tomorrow: a magical place where 99% of human potential is". Thing is, tomorrow might never come because the hands of time are never on our side.

tiny

One day while writing a short story in college I noticed an ant scurrying on my desk with a scrap of food. I picked it up with a piece of paper and placed it elsewhere.

Later I felt something crawl up my leg. Same ant, so I decided to help it find its nest. After 3 tries it found its colony in a tiny crack in the wall.

I thought “you finally made it little guy”. Maybe we are all that “little guy”. Like the ant, sometimes we get lost (realist) but sometimes there are kind people to help show the way or even carry you there (romanticist)

Just my opinion though.

Romantic realism #1

Happy ever afters don’t exist… unless you want them to.

If so, be prepared to put an insane amount of effort into it with no guarantees of success whatsoever. Think positive so that positive things will happen.

But dear God… if or when it works, it works beautifully. I hope.

break the Cycle

Consumerism is a social and economic order that encourages the purchase of goods and services in ever-greater amounts. In the 21st century this is especially true when lessons like "only look out for #1" are being taught. People consume, consume and consume while rarely or not giving back at all.

An example is in the case of water. We need fresh water, we consume ever larger amounts of it. Yet we don't give back to the Earth because many people pollute water sources. There's only 1 habitable planet, so resources are limited. The human race is consuming too fast and replenishing too little.

Consumerism links in with materialism where beginning in the 1990s the main reason for attending university is to make big money and not to become an expert in a certain field or to help people in difficulty. Materialism shifts away from community, spirituality and integrity and leads to competition and disconnection.

Social status is now tied to your material belongings rather than your actual self worth. Its a vicious cycle. The poor try to imitate the rich while the rich try to imitate celebrities and so on. Sometimes we buy things we don't need even use solely to emulate people we regard as having "higher social status".

Buying material things is fine, we all need our certain comforts. But at the point where you have to buy something in order to fit in, now there's your problem. Our consumerism also needs to stay manageable and not go beyond what is environmentally-sustainable.

Lone Wolf

You know, sometimes it feels like the most logical for us to do is pack up our things and get lost. As in, to go live in the forest alone or high up in the mountains all monk like. The thing is, its impossible. Humans are social creatures, we need other people to interact with lest we go insane. Overwhelming noise and clutter can drive a person mad and so can dead silence and stillness.

People need other people. Its why we're conditioned to have family and friends. Even the most shy or quiet of people have at least 2 or 3 people whom they consider close. Talking to one self is normal and usual when we contemplate things or are preparing for something but if the only person we talk to is ourself since we are "lone wolves" that is probably unhealthy.

Proof of this is that people are dependant beings. When we are young, we depend on others. When we are old, we still depend on others. Throughout our life we will always depend on others on some level and other people are counting on us as well.

Simply put, even elite commandos need teamwork. Actors who go "one man army" in films are woefully innacurate portrayals of how soldiers really work and doing so is actually frowned upon in the military. For example, snipers who are often portrayed as loners actually function in pairs. And that pair is integrated with another squad of infantry.

So stop thinking about living alone in a submarine and go out and meet people!

In Time

Time, its the same for all. Its similar to the term "the Great Equalizer" which is death. Its called that because no matter how rich, poor, happy, sad, long or short our lives are, death comes to take us all equally.

Same goes for time. Everyone has the same amount of it, anywhere. 24 hours. no more, no less. Most people wish they had more time. Some people wish their time would run out.

In my opinion, the phrase "live with no regrets" is impossible. Because people being people will always make mistakes. There will always be that black spot or spots in our past, our lives that we wish had played out differently. Things we wish we had done or didn't do with our spent time.

What's past, is past. Water under the bridge. We can't get it back nor can we change it in any way. We or I always look back to ponder or regret so that I can look forward with some slight measure of hope. The only thing we can do is savour our time since we don't know how much time we actually have left. It would be a whole different world if everyone had a visible countdown timer above their heads.

The phrase "today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today" is a good concept to follow to improve the quality of our time spent. Maybe hard to practice but then again some of the good things in life don't come easily.

Bliss & Crucible

Life is strange. Life is full of surprises, especially people. You could know them for ages and they can still pull a fast one on you. But you already probably knew that. The world's in equilibrium... for the most part anyways. Think about it, for every saint, there is a sinner. For every peace treaty signed, there was a war fought. For every happy moment, an equally sad one.

Mania and Dementia, Bliss and Crucible. I'm sure all of you have heard the term "rat race". We all might be in one, we may not. If we are, we should to break out of it. The vicious cycle of monotonous routines. Because even if you win at the Rat Race, you're still a rat.

Mania, the happy things - family, friends, joy in your work, religion, etc. All the things that give life meaning and purpose and make it worth living.

Dementia, the sad things - losing family, forgetting friends, stress due to work, feeling inadequate due to lack of faith, etc. These elements define life and set the boundaries as well as building who you are inside.

Yin and Yang. Balance. The world's in balance but maybe not the humans in it. So not all is lost in terms of happiness. You can have more happy moments than sad ones. But that is up to you. Cherish your family, keep in touch with your friends, believe your work is beneficial. Live life today because there might not be any rewards to reap tomorrow or maybe you're the one that is gone.

Have a nice day!

lessons from the Dark Knight

Why do we fall?

A. Because we were weak at the time
B. So we learn to pick ourselves back up
C. For others to pick us up later
D. We were never supposed to be standing in the first place at all

You choose.

This is where idealists, optimists, pessimists and realists come into play. You decide who you are although the environment and circumstances affect the outcome. Some people come out as better people through adversity while some people crumble under the pressure. Sometimes I'm strong and just push through and sometimes I crack and fall apart just like everyone else. Be like Batman, haha.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller..."

What is? It is.

The truth is, I have no idea what theoretical quantum physics actually is. But it sure sounds cool and sort of related to the topic I'm putting forward now. In life everything is interconnected someway somehow. Thats Zen, haha. But to a certain extent this is very true. Something someone did before you were even born probably does affect your life today and what you do today probably will affect someone else's life tomorrow.

Life is a constant string of Ripple effects. Maybe its the Butterfly effect but the Ripple effect is easier to roll with. Nothing is ever linear, one thing will affect multiple others just like the ever expanding ripples on a surface of water. This phenemenon forces people to see the bigger picture of their actions but most people still are narrow-minded or short-sighted. We think our actions stop at the next person or the next minute for example, when it in fact has far reaching consequences that are either good or bad.

E.g. You buy a hotdog from a street vendor. That money helps to pay for his kid's education, the kid grows up to be a doctor who treats your kid and your kid becomes a politician who pioneers green technology in the government that makes life greener and cleaner for all but then another person comes along and murders a man which shocks the whole community and you and your buddies set up a community watch while the sun nourishes an orange somewhere and a worker picks the fruit sending it off to a factory where it is then shipped by another person to your supermarket where your local salesperson arranges it for you and others to buy.

All the random events up there totally make no sense but yet they do because in life all is connected. What is? It is.