Sabahtime sadness

The obligatory 'feet at the holiday destination' picture.

Life is full of ups and downs. Everyone knows that. Sometimes, the good and bad happen near simultaneously or they alternate in quick succession. The following is such a story of ups and downs. However, we'll focus on the bad stuff because a series of unfortunate events makes for a better story. So it goes, four dashing heroes embark on a quest. A quest to seek the fabled treasures of "relaxation" and "chill". One of the members of this intrepid expedition is the author.

Its actually a bit tedious to write in story form so here it is in list form:

Day 1
1) Woke up later than expected.
2) Started packing late as a result and left home later than expected as a result of this.
3) Got lost on the way to friend's house, somehow entered KLCC parking.
4) Shortly before taking the train to the airport, I slipped and tripped. Got some cuts and bruises on my hands and forearms. Also ruined my trousers.
5) After checking in, walked to our boarding gate at the far end of the airport. Only to discover it had been changed to literally the other end of the airport.
6) Once we reached that gate, our flight was re-timed to 2.5 hours later.

The Art of Rejection

How to take it and how to dish it out.

So, you finally mustered the courage to ask that special someone to go out with you or maybe you've asked your boss for a pay raise. You can't wait for them to give you an answer in the affirmative and put you over the moon. Its a 50/50 chance so those are pretty good odds right?

Ask and you shall receive. But what if you receive a "no"? It can be absolutely crushing when you thought you had a good chance and they say "no". What if someone not only denied your request but then said "Not in this lifetime. Not even in a parallel universe!" to your preposition? Bonus points to them for rejecting you and referencing String Theory while they were at it. What a burn.

If you still have any semblance of self esteem after that point then read on as we shall explore how to combat the feeling of defeat after rejection and to take it in stride.

1. Pre-planning
Just like any other activity, asking a person out or making plans or asking for a job transfer, it all requires planning. Think about the situation as a whole, do you feel like you have a good chance? If so, then great. Like really, good for you. If not, then mentally prepare yourself and accept the possibility of a "no". If you've been rejected your whole life, then why do you think anything is going to be different this time? Accept your failures as a human being and move on.

2. The question
So when you ask your question, do it in the most casual way possible. This is so that you don't come off as desperately hanging on to their decision and that it seems like you aren't bothered even if they say "no". When in person, use your most nonchalant voice so it seems like you don't care either way or playful voice so you can play it off as a joke if they reject you. "Haha! Just kidding" has been the way out of awkward questions for centuries. Use this time proven method to your advantage when facing rejection.

3. The response
Once they've said "no", you obviously have to do something and react. Otherwise, it will look like their rejection has torn your world asunder. So lets say someone said "no" straight to your face. If near a window, slowly back up to it and then proceed to throw yourself out of it because AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT (REJECTION). Yes, this post has memes.

The response is the most important step as this the only step your rejector will see following your request and the only way you can pretend like you didn't die a little on the inside when they said "no". If you have a penchant for hyperbole, this is the time to use it. Lets say you're attending a job interview and the employer decides to not hire you. Instead of the usual "Thank you for your time" nonsense, get creative. Say "OK. I'm glad you didn't hire me, this place is a snooze fest!" and then proceed to skateboard out of that loser emporium like a champ. Or a chump. Maybe a chimp. That'll surprise them.

4. The aftermath
Go home. Lie on your bed or the floor, if for some reason you don't own a bed. Think about all the life decisions you have made, all of them culminating in that moment where you asked and got "no" for an answer. Cry. At least no one will see these manly tears. This is a safe place.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this post is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously as guide for handling rejection. Depending on what you were hoping for and how much was riding on a particular request, rejection can go from stinging a tiny bit to getting a kick to... deez nuts. Look, more memes! So whenever asking something that can be a "yes" or "no", pray for the best but temper your expectations as well.

But you guys really should have seen this sick wheelie I did on a motorbike when I asked this girl out. It was glorious. I almost forgot she said "no". Almost.

When the Nightmares come

So let us start off this year's blogging with something spooky. Namely, sleep paralysis.

So sleep paralysis is a phenomenon that occurs while you are dreaming. Usually, dreaming occurs in REM stage of the sleep cycle. You can read up more about the sleep cycle online. Basically, when you go to sleep and start dreaming, your body becomes paralysed, to stop you from acting out your dreams and potentially hurting yourself.

Sometimes, what happens is that you wake up (i.e. you're aware of surroundings and are no longer asleep) but your body is still under the effect of paralysis and your brain is still doing some residual dreaming, so your dreams are projected into the real world while you are unable to move.

This causes some problems because how many times have you woken up from a dream (that wasn't too outlandish) thinking everything that happened did actually happen? Same thing here, while you're unable to move, you may see, hear and even feel things in your environment, which are of course aren't really there.

Sleep paralysis is generally a bad experience, most of them are nightmarish. Although some people do experience pleasant ones where they wake to musicians serenading them in their bedrooms. Is that weird? Yes. But is it horrifyingly mind-bending? Not so much. My personal experiences with it weren't of the particularly happy kind either.

Sleep paralysis is scary because, as the name implies, you are paralysed (and also paralysed by fear, heh), you can see and hear your nightmares but most of all you can feel them. Want to try and scream for help? Take delight in the fact that your voice will get stuck in your throat. If you're lucky, one of the nightmare creatures may even try to strangle or sit on you and it will feel like you can't breathe.

It is thought that sleep paralysis could explain the myths of Dracula and other night-time spooky things. The classic image of Dracula standing over a sleeping or paralysed victim seems reminiscent of an experience of sleep paralysis. It is also thought to explain the succubus and incubus. Paintings and artworks describing sleep paralysis often depict a creature sitting on the person who is sleeping, accounting the visual hallucination of the nightmare and the feeling of difficulty breathing.

This all lasts a few minutes and everything will slowly turn back to normal but it is not easy to not be afraid in the moment. Some people who experience this have found that to overcome it, stay calm and try to wiggle your fingers or a single finger, as the major muscles are more affected by paralysis than small ones and gradually move your way from your fingers until you're fully mobile again.

Then, never go to sleep ever again. Heh.