You know sometimes when you're sick but instead of seeing a doctor, you type your symptoms into Google and the search results tells you that you have a serious disease and only a few months left on Earth?
It tends to be worse in medical school.
Now, every person ever who has attended medical school has a story like this. This is mine. Some time ago, I suddenly woke up in the morning with chest pain. The pain wasn't present the night before. The human body is liable to aches and pains every now and again so I thought "It'll go away in a few hours".
It didn't.
So then I thought "Ah sleep is when the body rests and repairs itself. I'll probably feel better tomorrow". So with some discomfort due to the pain I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning still due to pain. By that point I was a little worried but still thinking "Give it a couple of days. It'll blow over".
I was wrong.
It was worrying to me because I was experiencing sharp-ish pain near the left 5th intercostal space midclavicular line. Which is a fancy way of saying about over the heart or apex of the heart to be exact. (Literal heart here, not taking about oh she broke my heart oh boohoo kind of heart)
And ladies and gentlemen, pain around your heart is usually not a good sign.
"Wow, thanks Captain Obvious", I hear you say. Am I hearing voices? The psychosis setting in.
Anyway, I started to wonder if I had been eating right and exercising enough prior to this happening. Trying to trace the etiology of this event.
The pain occurs on breathing so that kind of ruled out a heart problem. I just checked that by holding my breath but well, studying the things I do... doesn't make me feel better about the possibilities.
At worst it was cardiac problem and less worse would be a lung issue. I was experiencing pleuritic chest pain or at least I think I was.
By day 4, I couldn't stand the worrying anymore so I went to a clinic to get a check-up. The doctor did as doctors do and told me my life changing diagnosis. I had costochondritis.
Costo freaking chondritis. For shame! By this point I'd already been in med school for several years.
Sigh.
_______________________________________________________________________
On another note, a friend had a birthday on April 2x. This friend is also studying medicine.
Thinking I was being clever in using some medical humour, I texted (paraphrased) -
Me: Hb 2x.4 *
Them: Thanks!
Me: What for? Haemoglobin (Hb) 2x.4 g/dL. Just saying Polycythemia.
Them:
Me: It was a good joke though right?
*supposedly short form Happy birthday 2x day of April (4th month) so 2x.4.
This person still doesn't talk to me to this day.
So there you go people. Whenever you think its a good idea to use pun-based humour, don't. Especially if its medical puns.
Friday, 24 June 2016
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
True to the Moment?
Foreword: I have nothing against people who like to take selfies or enjoy photography. Also, in the following post, by photos, I mean pictures with people in them.
I've never been one for photographs, neither the self taken variety nor those taken by others.
I mean, if I travel somewhere new, like on vacation or some other interesting place. I'll take a few pictures, here and there. But not multiple pictures in different poses in multiple spots within the still same locale before repeating the same process elsewhere for the entirety of the trip.
The reasons for that, I think are because I don't really gain much from looking over old photos.
Why do people like taking photographs? Its even more prevalent in this digital day and age where almost every phone has a camera in it, essentially meaning we have a camera with us almost 24/7 that can snap an almost infinite number of shots. People back in the day had to be more economical with their shots because film was expensive to buy and develop. But they still probably took a great many pictures as evidenced by big physical photo albums.
Our lives are to put it simply, interesting; with its many ups and downs. Some moments are very significant to us like a graduation or a vacation or other special occasions with a person or many people, and we seek to collect those memories, those moments that made us feel something. With the dawn of phone cameras, now even meeting a friend for lunch is a photo worthy moment! And not just 1 photo, but 10.
So, cameras offer us a chance to capture a moment, freeze it in time, that we may keep and view later. And the reason for wanting to freeze a moment in time is because we felt something significant at that time. And the idea is that when we later look over these photos, we can relive those same memories and emotions. The idea that by taking a photograph we can stretch these special moments forever and experience them longer.
This is not a fully realised idea, if not an outright lie.
Very rarely, if ever at all, do you look at a photo and it can evoke the same exact emotions you were experiencing in that moment. Even photos from a long time ago that genuinely surprise you, still won't have you feel the same way as you did at that time. What more if you look over 10 photos of something from just 3 days ago?
Cameras are getting better with more advanced features that help us get sharper images, better lighting, etc. so as to be able to take photographs that are "truer to the moment". These 2D reproductions of the original moment that look similar to the real thing but aren't. The idea that we keep trying to make something fake as true as possible to the real thing.
And yet, the fact remains that no matter how in detail these things can and will get, we still will never be able to relive those moments exactly as they were. Photos can capture the image, the being, the physical, the form, the shapes but they can never capture our feelings of those moments with the people we care about.
Maybe a reason we feel the need to capture these moments is because deep down, every human knows these moments are fleeting. Special memories with special people that cannot possibly go on forever. Its just a fact of life that we will not always have these people we are sharing these moments with. And sometimes when something is gone, its gone for good.
So photographs are an attempted (though perhaps flawed) method of preserving the past because it is just human to want to somehow cherish and keep special moments. However, as above, nothing can really give those experiences back again. So what does that leave? The present and the future. Unless you're psychic, no one knows what is going to happen next, so we can't be secure in being with those we value in the future.
That then just leaves the present. Those experiences we cherish are only going to last a short amount of time and there's nothing we can do to slow them down. All we can do is appreciate the time we have, with those we love as it is happening.
Its just easier and less painful to not think and be complacent about the fact that one day we're going to lose the ones we care about.
But there are these moments, they're brief and they're rare but that remind us of how appreciative we are to have had what we have and to enjoy them while they last. And sometimes, these moments don't require a camera.
OR
Maybe I just don't like being in photographs because I'm ugly and not photogenic? You will never know.
I've never been one for photographs, neither the self taken variety nor those taken by others.
I mean, if I travel somewhere new, like on vacation or some other interesting place. I'll take a few pictures, here and there. But not multiple pictures in different poses in multiple spots within the still same locale before repeating the same process elsewhere for the entirety of the trip.
The reasons for that, I think are because I don't really gain much from looking over old photos.
Why do people like taking photographs? Its even more prevalent in this digital day and age where almost every phone has a camera in it, essentially meaning we have a camera with us almost 24/7 that can snap an almost infinite number of shots. People back in the day had to be more economical with their shots because film was expensive to buy and develop. But they still probably took a great many pictures as evidenced by big physical photo albums.
Our lives are to put it simply, interesting; with its many ups and downs. Some moments are very significant to us like a graduation or a vacation or other special occasions with a person or many people, and we seek to collect those memories, those moments that made us feel something. With the dawn of phone cameras, now even meeting a friend for lunch is a photo worthy moment! And not just 1 photo, but 10.
So, cameras offer us a chance to capture a moment, freeze it in time, that we may keep and view later. And the reason for wanting to freeze a moment in time is because we felt something significant at that time. And the idea is that when we later look over these photos, we can relive those same memories and emotions. The idea that by taking a photograph we can stretch these special moments forever and experience them longer.
This is not a fully realised idea, if not an outright lie.
Very rarely, if ever at all, do you look at a photo and it can evoke the same exact emotions you were experiencing in that moment. Even photos from a long time ago that genuinely surprise you, still won't have you feel the same way as you did at that time. What more if you look over 10 photos of something from just 3 days ago?
Cameras are getting better with more advanced features that help us get sharper images, better lighting, etc. so as to be able to take photographs that are "truer to the moment". These 2D reproductions of the original moment that look similar to the real thing but aren't. The idea that we keep trying to make something fake as true as possible to the real thing.
And yet, the fact remains that no matter how in detail these things can and will get, we still will never be able to relive those moments exactly as they were. Photos can capture the image, the being, the physical, the form, the shapes but they can never capture our feelings of those moments with the people we care about.
Maybe a reason we feel the need to capture these moments is because deep down, every human knows these moments are fleeting. Special memories with special people that cannot possibly go on forever. Its just a fact of life that we will not always have these people we are sharing these moments with. And sometimes when something is gone, its gone for good.
So photographs are an attempted (though perhaps flawed) method of preserving the past because it is just human to want to somehow cherish and keep special moments. However, as above, nothing can really give those experiences back again. So what does that leave? The present and the future. Unless you're psychic, no one knows what is going to happen next, so we can't be secure in being with those we value in the future.
That then just leaves the present. Those experiences we cherish are only going to last a short amount of time and there's nothing we can do to slow them down. All we can do is appreciate the time we have, with those we love as it is happening.
Its just easier and less painful to not think and be complacent about the fact that one day we're going to lose the ones we care about.
But there are these moments, they're brief and they're rare but that remind us of how appreciative we are to have had what we have and to enjoy them while they last. And sometimes, these moments don't require a camera.
OR
Maybe I just don't like being in photographs because I'm ugly and not photogenic? You will never know.
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