Observations #1

No profound topic this time. I didn't stumble upon some deep concept or ideas and roll with it to type out a thought-provoking article. The human mind doesn't work like that, I think. Strokes of genius just occur at random, but not this day, for me anyway. Perhaps for actual geniuses, their epiphanies occur with much more frequency, maybe they can even summon it at will.

So, you know how random thoughts pop into our mind every now and then? Some are just mundane and others are quite interesting or funny for example. I had a text conversation (yes, conversation via text. Hopefully I’ll see her soon in person) with a friend. So we were talking and in the end at the end as we were saying our goodbyes, she says something along the lines of “Later, shorty” or maybe it was “take care, shorty” or something similar.

Shorty was/is her nickname for me. A nickname she hasn't used in a long time. Anyway, this particular conversation took place some time ago. But the whole “shorty” thing popped into my mind today. I am actually short unfortunately. I'm kind of dwarfed by many people my age and I'm probably at or near the age where I stop getting any taller. I used to be taller than most my classmates but that is no longer the case. I didn't choose the tip toe life, the tippy toe life chose me.

We humans are complex beings capable of feeling a wide range of (sometimes conflicting) emotions, often simultaneously. In this instance, when the word “shorty” registered in my brain, I felt kind of nostalgic and some weird fuzzy feeling because well, its a nickname. Also felt a bit of embarrassment because I'm actually short. Some curiosity because I haven’t seen her in a while and maybe she’s already grown taller than me.

On an unrelated note, its crazy how lightning can be so calming, captivating and scary all at the same time. I was in a position that allowed for an unrestricted view if the night sky. It was raining heavily and lightning occurred with great frequency. So magnificent, a white blue streak of pure energy. A long line, like a spear from the heavens. My heart skipped a beat each time a lightning bolt appeared, managing to light up the infinite sky. I was also afraid I would get roasted. Amazing.

Can Money buy Happiness?

The answer is 'Yes' and also 'No'. I have an uncle who says "Money isn't happiness but without money you cannot be happy"

Now for all you people out there who have nothing to do but argue, I'm positive my uncle meant this in a general way. I'm sure there are many people out there who don't have much money but are perfectly happy.

Anyway, money can buy happiness but it also cannot. So when can it and when does it not?

Well, money can buy you happiness provided that you already have a functioning family structure, healthy social interactions, good health, belief system (religion or other morals) and things like that.

It cannot buy you happiness when you have lots of money but have no health, time or people to spend it with. Not on, with. The difference is subtle but its there.

So its not like this:
'X' or Money = happiness, where 'X' is any one thing or combination of health, social, etc.

Its like this:
'X' + Money = happiness

Even when your conditions are sufficient for money to be able to buy you happiness, buying 'things' won't really make you happy. It does by a small margin but buying things for yourself just never feels as good as you think it would, does it?

Money can truly buy you happiness when its used to buy experiences (which in turn become memories) alone or with others like a vacation to a new place, a new hobby or novel activities like skydiving, visiting museums, paintball or whatever. Something that you'd appreciate having done, later down the road.

However buying things for others and making them happy will probably make you happy as well. Maybe. It seems that way to me at the very least. When its between people, its no longer about the 'things' themselves but the act of giving and its associated feelings such as appreciation and thoughtfulness which is good for happiness (under the assumption actual effort was made to select a thing suitable for a given person and not just random throwaway gifts). **

** The rest of the post is pretty generalisable to all but the last paragraph is just how I feel about it.

P.S. I may or may not be completely broke at this time, hehe.

The present

How well do we know people? How well do we even know ourselves? In the new-age spirit of things media, books, films, etc. are always telling people to search their own souls. Before combing through different people, places and experiences, know yourself like the back of your hand first. (seems easy, there’s nothing distinct on the backs of anyone’s hands I think)

So I’m gonna assume you’re not a stranger in your own body. If you are, call the cops! Tell them you have a breaking-and-entering, an intruder. Tell the police to hurry. This is a joke. Well duh, it is. Moron; I can hear some of you saying. No worries, I get that a lot.

Anyways, people are complex, sophisticated beings. Each one different different than the next, maybe similar but never the same. A nuclear engine is less complicated than the nuances and idiosyncrasies unique to each person. An individual. (Sleazy men, you can’t lump all girls into one category, which is “play things”, they aren’t. I see you)

If people are so complex then can we really know someone? Truly know them? Impossibru, right? Everyone has their secrets, everyone has their thoughts and actions that they want to keep hidden (unless the action was criminal, then turn yourself in) We only know bits and pieces about others. Unless you’re a mind and/or heart reader.

Some fragments of other people we see because they allow us to, they share. Some shards of them are noticeable if you really pay attention and genuinely look hard enough. Some nuggets will remain hidden to all, except themselves, forever. So we gotta accept that we can’t ever really know anyone but ourselves and so we should treat everyone nicely because the things they keep hidden may be them battling their personal struggles.

Seems like I’m going somewhere deep with this right? Wrong. How do we find the perfect present for someone? (Perfect to the best of your abilities) If we don’t really know them fully, do we know em’ well enough to pick out a thing they might like and cherish? Something they won’t chuck into a dustbin or keep at the backest part of a shelf?

I read somewhere that receiving unwanted gifts (unwanted in the sense that you don’t like the particular present, not presents in general) can actually make you like a person less. Thats kinda sad if its true. The person tries to show you they appreciate you and you end up disliking them for awhile maybe.

So the way to find a perfect gift? 2 ways that I know of:
1) ask them what it is they want (and remove all element of surprise)
2) try to know them well (50/50 chance they’ll like it here)

Maybe there is a 3rd option, just give em’ money to buy their own stuff? But I don’t know, that seems the most impersonal to me. I’ll end with a quote. Phew, finally; I heard that.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

I don’t know if the quote fits, it just seemed relevant to me. مع السلامة